Ugh...round 2 done...

Everything was going so smoothly until about three weeks ago...

With my white blood count at a rock bottom 250, I developed cellulitis in my right leg.  One minute I was fine, and the next I was wondering why I was so cold and why did my leg hurt so much.  By the time I got home from work (of course I was at work), I had a raging fever and chills, not to mention the fact that my leg was red and painful.

A quick trip to the doctor the next day confirmed my Google diagnosis.  I was given both IV and oral antibiotics and sent home.  My leg got better until precisely a week later when the infection--evidently only playing possum--came back worse than ever.  My right leg was a glowing red inferno of infection, while my left quietly developed red petechiae (dots, if you will).  More IV and oral antibiotics followed, and my second round of chemo was postponed.

When my infection finally subsided, the doctor divided chemo into four days this time, with the Rituxan on a day all by itself.  Days two through four were the administering of the Fludarabine and the Cyclophosphamide.  

Last time I had some "gastric" upsets but it wasn't too bad.  This time?  This time I felt like I was going to die, or maybe just wanted to die.  In addition to the stomach issues, I just felt generally awful.  Like, I haven't felt this awful in a lonnnnng time!

I'm on the upswing now, although I'm not going to be doing anything more strenuous than couch surfing for a while.  If it was this bad with round two, I'm not looking forward to rounds three through six!  

Round one of chemo--DONE!

I completed three consecutive days of chemo, and was released with a follow-up appointment for the next Wednesday.  Chemo itself wasn't awful, I guess.  It was a lot of sitting around and watching movies/television while they pumped me full of drugs.  

I receive three drugs that are the "chemo" drugs themselves:  Rituxan, a monoclonal antibody that targets cancer cells; Fludarabine and cyclophosphamide, both cytotoxins that tend to kill cells indiscriminately.  In addition, they give me some steroids just to pep me up (I guess) and iron.  The Rituxan and the iron take quite a while to drip, but the other drugs only take about 45 minutes to an hour each.  The first day was long--seven hours, the second, only about five, and the third, a short three hours.

I didn't feel sick to my stomach, but something that they gave me upset my GI tract.  My stomach just didn't feel good and I ended up with some other "issues" (to put it politely).  It's quite the diet; this morning--10 days after beginning chemo--I am 30 pounds lighter!  And I am eating--although my dear Dr. Pepper doesn't taste good to me anymore.

When I went to the doctor on Wednesday, he ran a quick blood count.  My white blood count plunged from 140,000 to 2,000!  Even he was shocked at how quickly my numbers had dropped and he didn't like the rapid weight loss.  Good news is that my hemoglobin (the part of the blood that carries oxygen to the body) is up!  For the first time this year, I can breathe enough to walk to my car from the doctor's office!  

So, until my next chemo appointment in April, I continue to make weekly trips to the doctor so that they can monitor me.  This next week I'll get more iron to boost my hemoglobin further.  

I am now forced to wear a mask in public so that germs stay at bay.  So, if you see someone rocking a "Cancer Sucks" mask, you'll know it's me. 

Cancer Sucks...

As most of you know, I was diagnosed seven years ago with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.  For most of the intervening time, it remained quiet and uneventful.  Lots of blood tests and doctor's appointments and not much else.

Then last year, between May and December, my white blood count more than doubled and I was getting more and more easily fatigued.  After the first of the year, I had a bone marrow biopsy, a CT scan, and a lymphedectomy (removal of a lymph node), and the implantation of a chemo port.  The doctor had mentioned back in January that chemo was probably 6-9 months away. Well, last week when I went for an appointment, to my shock and surprise, he told me we couldn't wait any longer.  

Leukemia causes a proliferation of white blood cells that are "broken."  Over the course of seven years, my white cells have grown so numerous that there's no room for my red blood cells.  Due to this, I am extremely short of breath.  Since Christmas, and maybe even before, just walking a short distance makes me sound like I've run a race.  If we were to wait any longer on the chemo, my numbers would just get worse.

So, I found myself at Texas Oncology in Allen bright and early this morning, hooked up to a machine!  I am receiving a combination treatment of Fludarabine, Cyclophosphamide, and Rituxan.  Medical advances are amazing--Rituxan (a monoclonal antibody that targets specific cancer cells) was only in the testing phase when I was diagnosed!

At any rate, so far all is well.  I'm so worn out, though--now whether that has to do with my treatment or the nerves leading up to it, I don't know.  

I hope you follow along with me on this journey.  As my dear friend Nicolas said, "I promised you a life of adventure, dear.  We just didn't know it was going to be this kind of adventure."  

The Down Under Chronicles, part 2

Forget my hosts--these are the faces I really flew 19 hours to see!  These are Lisa and Ray's girls.  As I've mentioned, they are long-coated Alaskan Malamutes.  The youngest is nearly two and is shown in the top photo.  The older is on the bottom and is eight. 

Aren't those the sweetest, furriest faces you've ever seen?  (Don't tell Juneau, Sitka, or Poquito I said that!) 

Now you can see why I fell in love with them through their photos! 

Don't you just want to hug them and kiss those furry snoots?  It's very obvious that they are the apple of their parents' eyes, too.  They have tons of cute nicknames for them, but I think my favorite is "cheeky bears."  I can just hear Lisa saying it to them!

Everywhere they go, the girls have their own fan club.  In Australia, it is permissible for dogs to be at outdoor restaurant seating--and a lot of restaurants have outdoor seating!  Because of this, the girls were able to go with us several times when we ate out.  Each time, a crowd developed in record time!  They are celebrities; everyone asks about them and wants to pet them and take pictures of them.  The girls handle their celebrity with aplomb, and still manage to find time to beg sweetly for a taste of the meal du jour.  

I love these girls just as if they were mine.  I hope someday, I'll be able to visit them again!  

All that celebrity wears a furry body out

The Down Under Chronicles, part 1

I would like to take this opportunity to thank my incredible hosts--Lisa and Ray Luscombe, and their girls!  My trip to Australia wouldn't have been half as enjoyable without them.  I truly felt like a Melburnian for the duration of my visit.

Lisa and I met online through Flickr several years ago.  We were initially attracted by our mutual love for and ownership of Alaskan Malamutes.  At the time, Lisa had just one dog.   Her baby was long-coated and I had never seen such a gorgeous dog!  Every time Lisa posted a picture of her dog, I quickly "favorited" the picture and commented.  Pretty soon, she started commenting on my photos of Juneau and Sitka too.  Even though Lisa lived in Australia and I lived in the US, we became friends.

Years passed and we remained friends even though we only knew each other online.  When my mother died, Lisa was so kind and understanding--I could feel her compassion and friendship from half a world away.  Our friendship moved from strictly being on Flickr to messaging each other on Facebook.  We wrote frequently, learning about each other's lives, our dogs, our hobbies, and our other friends.  Not too long after my mom died, Lisa said, "You know, you should come visit sometime!"

Visit Australia?  Now that was something I'd never really considered.  It seemed so far away--and it would be expensive too!  I thought about it and thought about it, though.  Finally at Christmas 2012, when I visited my parent's grave, I made it official.  I told them, "I am going to visit Australia!"  I told Lisa too.  I gave myself plenty of time to prepare, planning the trip for September 2014.  For a  person who hasn't travelled in years, it was going to be a big undertaking.

In the meantime, Lisa and her husband got a second dog--another long-coated malamute.  The second was just as beautiful as the first and I joked that it was a toss-up as to who I wanted to meet more--Lisa or her dogs! 

Over the next 15 months, we talked more and more about the trip and what I'd like to see and do while I was there.  I created a Pinterest board for Melbourne/Victoria and Lisa and I both added things to it that looked interesting.  I bought my airplane ticket in the spring of 2014, and then the trip became "real."  Lisa and I kept in close contact, learning more and more about each other as we talked over Facebook.

With my ticket purchased, I then applied for a passport.  Mine had long since expired, since the last time I was out of the country was my honeymoon in 1988!  I quickly discovered that you also need a visa to visit Australia.  Good thing I did my research on that one!  Who knew?

In September, the official countdown started.  And on September 17th I left the US at 10pm and didn't arrive in Melbourne until about 12:30 pm on September 19th.  Those international flights are killers!  Melbourne is 15 hours ahead of Dallas, so I basically lost an entire day in transit! 

Lisa met me at the airport.  Even though we'd never met in person, she looked just like her photos--so lovely!  I spent the next 12 days getting to know her and her husband.  And I can truthfully say, I've never met any nicer people.  They were so generous in allowing a virtual stranger to stay in their home, but it made my experience so wonderfully personal and I felt so well-connected with the city. 

Lisa is the art director for the Royal Auto Club's magazine, and not only is she amazing at the work she does, but she is also a super talented photographer and a virtuoso cook.  Ray is just a darling too--and he and Lisa have the most awesome relationship.  Even after 24 years of marriage, it's obvious they adore each other!  

 Our friends asked us, "Aren't you nervous going to stay with a total stranger?"  "Aren't you nervous letting a total stranger stay in your house?"  Both of us were completely relaxed with our decisions.  "Sometimes you just know about a person," we said to each other--and meant it!  I just knew in my heart Lisa was a wonderful person.

Well, I'm running out of adjectives and superlatives for my friends the Luscombes.  I hope you enjoy the tale of the adventures that is to follow!

Down under here I come!

I leave tonight for a vacation in Melbourne, Australia!  I've been dreaming, planning, and anticipating this trip ever since 2012, when my friend Lisa Luscombe invited me.  And today, it's actually happening!  

I will have plenty of pictures and stories when I get back.  I fully expect to have an Aussie accent by then as well!

Random puppy pictures

All the little things add up

I was scrolling through one of my favorite Internet sites the other day, looking at pictures of a celebrity who was making a personal appearance.  The celebrity had people all around him:  average joes wanting autographs, an assistant holding his coffee, and security guards holding back the masses.

 

As I studied the picture, I wished that I were a celebrity.  If I were famous, I'd have money to do whatever I wanted, people waiting on me hand and foot, and crowds of people jostling just for a glimpse of me.  I've always thought it would be cool to be a celebrity!  Oh, I know that there are drawbacks, but since I'm never going to be famous, those don't really matter. 

 

As I was studying the picture, I got a little sad because the likelihood of my becoming famous at this stage is practically nil.  But then I remembered that I have been asked for my autograph once (and it was cool!)  And that got me thinking, and I realized something.  I am lucky because I am the star of one show--my life!

 

Have you ever thought about how many accomplishments and achievements you have?  You may not be a big celebrity, but I'll bet that you've done a lot of things that most people will never have the chance to do.  And when I thought about that, it made me happy--and I decided to keep an ongoing list of things I've been lucky enough to do, to achieve, or to accomplish.  Without even trying I listed over 50 things.   

1. Been asked for my autograph
2. Had surgery
3. Had a cast
4. Had stitches
5. Been married
6. Bought a house
7. Sold a house
8. Had a fancy wedding
9. Had a European honeymoon
10. Spoken to a large group of people
11. Taught formal classes
12. Spoken to a large group of people without notes
13. Rescued dogs
14. Rescued a cat
15. Been too thin
16. Been skinny
17. Been fat
18. Learned more than one foreign language
19. Won an art contest
20. Appeared in a newspaper article
21. Graduated from college
22. Graduated from graduate school
23. Got a teaching certificate
24. Flown in an airplane
25. Flown in a helicopter
26. Ridden a roller coaster
27. Read over 100 books in a year
28. Lived with a roommate
29. Lived with a husband
30. Lived by myself
31. Donated time/money to charities
32. Directed a fashion show
33. Been a dresser at a fashion show
34. Been on a cruise
35. Been on a motor boat
36. Been on a large boat (not ship)
37. Been in all 50 states
38. Seen glaciers
39. Seen geysers
40. Seen volcanoes
41. Ridden a train
42. Lived in a house
43. Lived in a condominium
44. Lived in an apartment
45. Seen a double rainbow
46. Know how to swim
47. Know how to roller skate
48. Know how to ice skate
49. Know how to ride a bicycle
50. Taken modeling lessons
51. Won a prize for art
52. Been a member of a sorority
53. Stayed in a hotel suite
54. Been to a luau
55. Been to Europe
56. Been to Canada
57. Been to Mexico
58. Survived cancer
59. Been to a circus
60. Dived from the high board
61. Had someone tell me that they use something I taught them everyday
62. Had a best friend
63. Know how to cook

I know none of these are big things, but to me they are important things--the things that make up my life. 

What have you done that makes you the star of your own show?

 

Progress...

Excuse the peeling skin--and the ugly chicken neck (yuck!).  Next color will be the blue birds.

More color...

Some new color on the sleeve! We're going very slowly in order to minimize the trauma to my arm. Next appointment will be next week.

The cat's out of the bag...

The cat is now out of the bag, so to speak.  Since the first of the year, I've been working on a "sleeve" of tattoos.    Before we go any further...yes, I know it's extreme.  And, yes, I am well aware of the fact that my parents would have most whole-heartedly disliked this.  But, my parents are gone, and I'm me--and I like tattoos.  So, no negative nancy comments, please.

The sleeve is done is the American Traditional tattooing style.  There are eight elements:  dragon, sugar skull, quill and ink pot, blue birds, rose, sun, moon, and book.  It has taken approximately 30 hours to complete the initial line work and the shading.  I have color only on the quill and ink pot so far.  When it is complete, there will be color on all the designs (except the dragon which was completed before I began the sleeve).  

The sleeve draws a lot of attention, which is to be expected--and fine with me.  Some of the comments I've received crack me up.  According to one guy, the tattoos are "tight."  Another said that they are "vicious."  I still don't know if that's good or bad!  Also, I've certainly earned a lot of street cred with my students.  

Absolutely the most painful parts have been the upper, inner arm--and I have one picture where you can see bruises created when the excess ink is wiped off--and the crook of the elbow.  

As I progress more, I'll keep you posted!

  

Happy birthday, daddy!

 

 

Unbelievable to think that today would have been my father's 86th birthday.  Even more unbelievable that he's been gone for 25 years now.  Daddy was just the best daddy ever (in my opinion), and not a day goes by that I don't miss him.

 

So, in honor of his birthday, here is the second annual compendium of fun facts about my dad:

 

1.  Daddy only spanked me twice in my entire life; he left disciplining me up to my mom.  The two times he felt compelled to discipline me, I knew I was REALLY in trouble!

 

2.  He was the oldest of nine children and shared his first name with his father.  His father had no middle name, but to differentiate the two, grandpa  was "Ed, Sr."

 

3.  He collected stringed musical instruments:  guitars, violins, banjos, etc.  He had nearly 100 of them when he died.

 

4.  Every Valentine's Day, he gave my mom one of those old-fashioned heart-shaped boxes with chocolates inside.  When I was little, I always got a stuffed animal!

 

5.  Daddy was very generous--he would have literally given the shirt off his back if someone wanted or needed it.

 

6.  He bought a burnt orange-colored suit in the 1970s.  He never wore it because my mom made fun of him.  Thank goodness she did; he would have looked like a pimp in it!

 

7.  He rarely ever had properly fitting shoes when he was growing up--if he had shoes at all.  As an adult, he had recurring nightmares where he would be in a public place and look down and would have no shoes.

 

8.  Daddy loved to talk...to anybody!

 

9.  As fun and friendly as Daddy was when he was off work, he could still be a bit of a tyrant at work.  He wanted everything to be orderly and well-functioning at work, and if someone interfered with that, he could get cranky (to put it mildly).  His personal friends never believed it when mom would tell them about this side of his personality.

 

10. Daddy was in the army and earned his GED while he was enlisted. 

 

It makes me really sad that it's getting harder and harder to remember details about my father.  25 years is a long time to be away from someone.  I can remember his voice anymore either.  I do remember that the last words he ever said to me were, "I love you."

 

The feeling was, and is, mutual!

It's done, over, finito, finished, through!

That sound you heard last week?  That was me, sighing in relief!  The last hurdle created by my mom's death has been cleared.

 

In other words--my so-called "Winter Home" has been sold!  (I called it that because was just south of my current home, and people go south for the winter, so..."Winter Home.")

 

I can't believe it's finally gone. 

 

Hallelujah chorus ensues...

Malice

 

Here's the new "ink."  His name is Malice.  And, yes, all my tattoos have names.  There's Puff (the Magic Dragon), Sinistryx, Lucifer, and now, Malice.

 

And, in case you're curious--yes, it hurts to get a tattoo.  They are basically poking multiple needles in your skin for however long it takes to get the design completed.  This one took about 2 1/2 hours.  The amount of tenderness is also dependent on what part of the body you're getting tattooed.  Any place where the skin is close to the bone hurts worse--feet, shoulder blades, hands.  Fattier places--biceps, boobs--hurt less.  This one was probably the second most painful (shoulder blade was the worst).

 

Right now he's scabby and scaly, but is looking better every day.  Tattoos are not pretty when they are healing!

 

I feel like a rock star again!

New Year, New Me!

Many years ago, I started this blog because I saw cool people blogging about cool things, and I wanted to be one of them.  Of course, I'm not cool, and I don't ususally do cool things, so the blog was pretty "blah" and my interest waned.  When my mom died, however, I was left without my favorite outlet for my feelings and thoughts.  So, I revived Puff, the Magic Dragon.  Over the last two years, I have very much enjoyed sharing things with my readers.

 

Most of my posts are pretty mundane--about my dogs, or the vintage things I like to collect.  This post, however, is deeply personal.  So bear with me, and I'll return you to the dogs and collectibles soon.

 

I never dreamed that having my last remaining parent die would stir up such a storm of feelings.  Oh, don't get me wrong--of course I knew that I would grieve her loss.  But I assumed that I would grieve, and well, that would be that.  Little did I realize that her death would make me feel so many things besides just grief.  Suddenly, I had to be strong and do all the right things, because there was no one else to do them.  I've heard it said that you never really grow up until your last parent dies; I guess whoever said that really knew what they were talking about.

Over the last two years, I've felt so old, for lack of a better word.  So many responsibilities, so many decisions, with no one to help me make them.  I didn't even bat an eyelash when I turned 50 last September--probably because I felt as though I were 70! 

Something happened in November, though, that shook up my world--and when I tell you what it is you're going to laugh your heads off at my silliness.  Now those of you who know me, know that I'm single; one failed marriage was enough for me!  I don't generally pay too much attention to men.  I have too much other stuff to worry about.  However, when People Magazine published their "Sexiest Man Alive" for 2013, I noticed that their choice--Adam Levine--is a Hottie McHotterson!  Of course he is, he's the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE!  And, all of a sudden, hormones I forgot I had woke up and started to cha cha! 

Now please don't think I am deluded!  I know Adam Levine is not my soul mate; I know I will never even meet him; and I know he wouldn't have anything to do with me at any rate.  But I'd forgotten how much fun I used to have when I was younger, obsessing over my celebrity crushes.  And, suddenly, I remembered that I'm not 70!  I'm only 50--plenty of time to have a good time and sow a few more wild oats! 

Not only that, this whole thing made me realize that I've been trying to act like my mother.  Not that there is anything wrong with the way my mom was--it's just that I'm not her!  Maybe that's why I've been having such a hard time.  It's like trying to wear clothing that doesn't fit.  You can't make it work, no matter how badly you wish it would.  I'm not my mom, and I never will be.  It's time for me to be ME again.

Since I noticed his hottness (and how did I ever miss it before?), I've had such a good time!  I'm listening to music again, I got a new tattoo (oh yes I did!), and I've just been having more fun in general.  So, thank you Adam Levine!  You'll never know what you did for me, but I do appreciate it.  You are a beautiful man!
 

Merry Christmas!

Merry, merry Christmas to everyone! 

Dashing through the snow

Okay, here in Texas (well, Dallas at least), we don't so much have snow as we do ice.  Last week we had just that, in spades!

Juneau and Sitka were pretty enthused about the cold weather, although Poquito was not interested in the least.  He rarely crawled out from under the blankets for the duration.

 

I was really ready for a thaw after being stuck at home for four days!