Ch...ch...ch...ch...changes (thanks, David Bowie, for getting that tune stuck in my head)

It's been a little over a year and a half since my mom passed away, leaving me and the dogs to our own devices.  Since then, I have tried my best to combine both houses of stuff, edit what I don't want, and make my childhood home into the current "50 year old me" home.  It hasn't been easy, surprisingly.  There are so many memories and emotions tied up in the things that inhabit my home(s); it's hard to let go when I can remember when, where, and even why something was purchased. 

 

Mom--and daddy, too--worked hard to make our home a lovely, comfortable, and interesting place.  We collected souvenirs and momentos from our travels.  The things that we brought home were never cheap, tacky, tourist-y junk.  I don't remember even buying a souvenir t-shirt until I was in college! 

 

Because my parent's home was lovely when I moved in, I was at first reluctant to make any changes.  I planned on bringing in the few antique pieces I owned and calling it a day.  But the longer I lived in the house, the more I realized that it just wasn't me.  My mom was raised in the 30s and 40s, a time when everyone's home was much more formal than those of today.  Each room's furniture matched religiously.  And it was expensive furniture, too.  Mom didn't buy anything until she could afford exactly what she wanted.  It seemed a sin to replace things just because they didn't suit me.

 

I felt guilty about replacing and redecorating too.  If it was good enough for my parents, it should be good enough for me too.  I've had several dreams in which my mother suddenly reappeared from wherever she's been for the last 18 months, and scolded me for changing "her" house!  In one dream, she just started moving things back to where they "belonged."  Now that's some powerful guilt!

 

Despite my feelings of guilt, I resolved to make some changes.  As I've mentioned before, the room I feel worst about changing is what used to be my mom and dad's vintage soda fountain.  I am selling almost everything soda fountain-related in my estate sale, to make room for my studio.  Ugh, even writing about it makes me feel a twinge of guilt.  They worked so hard at collecting the stuff, and in making the room so authentic.  I know in my head that it's okay; that they would want me to be happy, but I still feel bad.  I'm pushing on, nevertheless.

 

Stay tuned for a lengthy house tour in August.  And, then you won't ever have to hear about my house-guilt again!  I promise!

 

 

Big doings at the Parker house

Old bathroom light fixture

 

New and improved bathroom light fixture



The cheesy 1960s scrollwork from the lights

 

Completely new bathroom fixture, installed after I decided that "mid-century modern" just wasn't my thing, even though the light fixtures did look better without that tacky scrollwork

 

New light fixture in the guest bedroom.  It's a vintage-looking mini-chandelier. All the furniture in this room is antique, so I thought something vintage-looking would be pretty.  Real vintage is too expensive!

 

New drapes for the living room--to replace the "lovely" pink sheers in the background

More decorating "stuff"--new fabric for the living room chairs, a new pillow for the rocker in the office, and some other goodies

A vintage, purely decorative medicine cabinet for the bathroom

This poor broken thing is being replaced on Wednesday!

 

Yes, there are big doings at the Parker house!  I'm doing some renovations and replacing fixtures.  Look for a post on the completed projects--and a house tour--in August!

The personal vs. the impersonal

Recently, one of my co-workers and I were discussing a photograph that we saw in a magazine. The photo showed a woman posed in her home. The home was lovely and it was obvious that a decorator had spent a lot of money to make it look that way. Despite its loveliness, the home looked so impersonal to me. When I mentioned it to my co-worker, she had trouble comprehending what I was meant.

 

I had to explain it to her--that it looked as though the objects in the home had been chosen strictly for their decorative features, and that they probably meant nothing to the owner. Her response, was, "So what? Isn't everyone's home like that?" I was equally flabbergasted--"You mean to tell me that you think most people just have 'things' in their homes? That they don't care about the objects they surround themselves with?" It turns out that, indeed, that was her belief. And maybe she's right; from what I've seen of most people's homes, they are just filled with things. And, other than personal photos, there's probably not a lot that people would grieve over if it were lost.

If you're a regular reader of this blog, or if you know me personally, you know that this is the exact opposite of how I live and how I decorate.  Everything--everything--in my home means something to me; otherwise I wouldn't have it there.  The sweet ladies who came in to unpack my boxes even commented, "You have the best stories!" 

 

Hearing their words made me start thinking about those wonderful stores.  I miss having someone  who shares in those memories, those shared stories.  So, since you guys are my wonderfully patient audience, and I love  to tell stories, I'm going to start a regular feature called Show and Tell Sunday where I "show" some of my favorite things, and then "tell" their stories.  Please feel free to share your favorite things and their stories in the comments.

And what about you?  Do you surround yourself with meaningful things?  Or do you prefer a sleek, decorator look?

 

The three biggest treasures I have at home! 

In which I try to put three lifetimes of stuff in one house

It's a good thing I don't subscribe to a minimalist decorating style! Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you...

My mom recently passed away quite unexpectedly (she was 83, but the week before Christmas she was fine, and by the end of the first week in January, she was gone. That's unexpected!) Anyway, due to her passing, I now have more stuff than I ever thought possible: Two houses, two cars, three dogs, and two packrats' possessions.

How do you go about sorting through a lifetime of possessions and deciding what you do and don't want? Hey, it's me--remember? I love everything. Some things are pretty easy to dispatch to the sale pile. For instance, the odd medieval-esque accessories that were in the living room. I think mom bought those at a furniture store in the 1960s when she and my dad bought new furniture for this house. Those were the days before we started to travel, and before we acquired all kinds of personal, memorable decorative accents. I've always thought those things--two porcelain knights, a couple of wooden ships (looking like drawings I've seen of the Pinta, the Nina, and the Santa Maria!), a faux-old globe, and a small cannon--were so out of place in our house, and didn't seem like something my parents would have liked. I guess they went well with the mediterranean style of the house.

Yes, those were easy to part with. My mom collected cow creamers--those were tough. I couldn't get rid of them. I just packed them in boxes, except for a few that I really like. I cried just packing them up. I kept blubbering, "I'm sorry little cow" every time I put one in a box. I haven't even tried to pack away any of her thimble collection, or my dad's carved bird collection.

I have gotten brave enough to change some things. The living room/dining room will become a dining library. I barely eat at the table and no one ever comes over--so the dining room, and yet another living area, are totally superfluous. My dad's study will become my studio. It's not big enough to house my books too, and I don't want to make the living room into my studio because it's right in front of the house where everyone could see my mess when they walked in. And, there's not a good window for ventilation in the front of the house--necessary for jewelry-making.

Well, that's all for now--wish me luck as I go over to my old house this evening and pack up another load!

Below, a picture of my messy "new" den.  You can see that I'm dealing with a massive quantity of "stuff."  Every room is just like this! (and you can see Poquito made a surprise appearance too)